Saturday, 6 January 2018

"Philosopher's Syndrome" - A Diagnosis of the Disease in Our Profession and Lives

When I was talking to my kids the other day after finishing a seminar, I realized I had "philosopher's syndome". I kept telling them about the grounds of our beliefs, and the way our scientific image hangs together with our other Ideas. 'Dad!' they said, 'This doesn't make any sense! You need to concentrate.' I began to see that they had a point. I got my car off the road and grabbed them and said 'Yes! I have Philosopher's Syndrome".

I have philosopher's syndrome! Said the young lady in the drawing room to her young companion. Over several years, she had become conscious of certain pertubations in her train of thought - a certain bent to her reflexions. Her friend Raymond had noticed, and had taken to upbraiding her in the most unbridled way - You're always faffing about, Porche! (She hated that nickname) When are you going to stop trying to get your head straight and just plow in! - She looked away, letting her gaze fall on a paraffin lamp that had caught the late sunlight.

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Image result for diagnosis

Someone with PS will have any number of signs of it. I'm sure you know the type I am talking about. An obsession with ideas and truth, and a tendency to let these things bleed in to normal life. One or two people I went to grad school with had PS, and I will never how much I struggled with them. And now look at me - I've got a successful case of PS as well.

It's like the Philosopher's Stone! said Portia, with a beguiled smile on her face. Bronheld, terning her face to the dappled sunlight filtering into the room, scuffed her light brown coat and took a sip of vermouth, but did not say anything.

Wait, you're thinking. Why do I say successful case? Well, because there are real benefits to PS. I've come to use it to my advantage in classes, and have started trying to harness PS-power in my research. I invite all of you to do the same.

But be careful! The hazards are great; as are the rewards. Do you have what it takes to succeed using PS?

As usual, please leave your answers in the comments and avoid any ungrammaticality, or any false claims that you can avoid making. There is a number of commenters who come here and abuse the system.

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  1. Thanks for this. My case of PS is, alas, quite advanced, but I would council any young prospective philosophers to think twice before getting in to the field. The treacherous waters are hard and come fast! You will barely be able to catch your breath before being plunched again into the abyss, again and again!

  2. P.S., I love you.
    You grew me up even more when I was strong
    Made me small when I was weak
    And above all, gave me the insight I now know

    P.S. Is Lightning in A Bottle
    Philosopher's Syndrome is the Philosophers Stone
    Oh over what wide chasms of thoughts we roam

    Noam Chonsky as a philosopher
    Mormon CHristians as a philospher
    No you can't be a philosopher
    Because you don't have what it takes to be a philosopher

    But Ah! Who is this I see? Someone coming into the light to educate me? Yes it is a man - and believe me, it is a man - who has a book of philosophy, and I for one just cannot get enough.

    See how big the rabbithole goes, guys. I know I did.

    - Roast Intolderance Chicken

    I am sorry for casting aspersions on Mormons and Noam Chomsky. I am sorry for my unnecessary reference to men vs. women. We all need to fly straight in these times, and I for one am excited about where we can end up.

    Fly guys!

    1. Please do not come here again.

      The web naster.

    2. You sat there saying that but you're more of a web bastard in my opinion! Jocone only enjoys your company because he is a dog. Go figure.

  3. I grew up in a small town, and as someone who did that can attest, there was not a lot of time to develop a social life. Every night I had to ride around on a horse, I had to eat mushrooms and spinach with my hands, and I had four young kids to take care of - that's right, my brothers and sisters. As the most responsible member in the family I had no time for philosophy.

    Schopenhauer rejoiced when his father died. But my father died and didn't do shit for me. Because we were just normal people. It's hard sometimes when everything is so still at night, I begin to cough up a mushroom and I think: if A therefore B. That's about as much philosophy as I can take that night, and by the time I've awoken I've forgotten. Try building up logic in a strict calculus. It might surprise you. Sorry, I've just coughed up a piece of chicken and need to tell my brothers and sisters to SHUT UP! As Doc F Emeritus recently said: Not very philosophical!

    Give my damnedest to Jocone! Just kidding. I give a fuck about the little guy, I just think he's a dog and accordingly knows his place. They actually like it that way, it's written into DNA (and RNA to be perfectly honest)! You are identical to your DNA my fellow students once said. You've obviously never seen an identical twin, I replied. That should have shut them up. But no, they got out their "epi-pens". Neirly sent me into a "coffing fit" lol. Almost put me in *grave* tanger. Now I need a coughie and a cigerate!

    1. Now that's someone I can get behind! Thanks for the comments nate, let's go to sleep now though eh?

      The naster

  4. Jocone is literally top dog arround here!!

  5. Utilitarian Screed21 January 2018 at 05:19

    Yep, I recognised exactly this thing in myself when I got back from my first philosophy education. I have begun to question everything, including my own involvement in this mercurial subject. I hope Jocone doesn't hear what I'm saying! Seriously though, he's a great dog, and I want to continue to disseminate my philosophy very widely.